Sunday, November 15, 2009

Daddy's Unedited Notes for your Reading Pleasure

Daddy’s Raw, Unedited, reports on Kelsey… for your reading pleasure, since it’s 3 months of misc. items:

Kelseycan. She walked from the office to our bedroom with Kelly holding her under her arms, right leg, left leg. I massaged her right leg and behind her knee, and it would coax her on, relieving the excess tone. She had been laying on the floor, on my stacks of sorted papers, but she was having fun with them, so I couldn't see moving her. She was just moving all over, messing them up, wrinkling, etc, lol. She played with her Penguin, and would punch it move it, talk to it, and laugh loudly when she made it talk. First time I have seen her play by herself that way and be happy, totally entertaining herself, and enjoying it all. She would look at me for encouragement, and same, had done that at school yesterday, paying as much attention as if to say, Daddy, are you seeing me? Tonight also, after prompting her just twice, she said Boo, very distinctly, with the Ba sound! We both screamed Yeaaah, Kelsey, woo hoo, which led to a 3 minute pout and near tears. She just is not sure about over excitement, and we think she thinks we are yelling at her, and doesn't seem to matter how much calming her, that even seems to make the lip stick out further. 11/12/09 10:59p

Kelsey watched me play a video game, the historic games of pacman, galaxia, and a couple others. She was just watching, and talking, and when i got done, or the ghosts were chasing, and about to get me, she would say, OHHHH, OR GO! Laughed at music between levels, or the sounds / movements of me turning around and eating the ghosts. In Galaxia, she would talk when the bugs would come down to chase me. She is very smart, sees well, and shows anticipation, and reaction. 11/5/09 2:02a

Kelsey ate a 4 oz food jar in 12 minutes! yay Kelsey. She has just ate and ate today!10/29/09 12:00a

Kelsey 10/19/09, was hungry, just waited to feed her when she asked rather than wasting time trying to force it to her. She had been good all day hanging out, and i had a bottle sitting by her, and she laying on the floor, kept looking over her head at it and kept moving that way, got to the point she was at it and was sucking on the outside of the bottle, knowing that was her food and she was hungry. So neat to see acknowledgement and desire, and doing what she could , problem solving as best she could, on her own, to fill the need.

Kelly was kissing on Kelsey, and she spontaneously said ama, i uv ooo. 10/15/09 7:34p

Kelsey tried out the completed crawler i made, and loved it, moved all around the entryway. The night before, we were in the hottub at the hotel chuck stayed at, and for about a1.5 hours, she just kicked, and talked and walked, and moved her arms and legs. I was feeding her a bottle after her crawler time, and after asking her all done or more bottle, she said done bottle. 9/30/09

Kelly, Kelsey, and I went to the park with the fishing lake in Olathe. We found a dock that was vacant, and after introducing Kelsey to the lake view, having her be pretty mellow, I finally laid back on the deck and let Kelsey lay on me. Holding her, I relaxed completely, got into a trance zone, and prayed about Kelsey, "I am grateful for her making all her nerve connections, growing, learning, and achieving new things daily. I am grateful for her quickly learning how to walk, talk, crawl, do all her motor skills and having all her muscles be fully functional, and being able to feed herself." Some kids came to fish, and took a bit away from the trance/zone I was in, so I sat up and held Kelsey on the dock. She was sitting with her knees bent, laying against me, with her arms pulled up high on her chest. I considered the possibility of the kids casting poorly as I used to, so after a few minutes, decided it best to leave. We had her touch her face, she was licking at her hand. I moved her hand around and told her to wipe wipe wipe the mouth off. Kelly looked at Kelsey sitting there and said, "you know, with her arms up like that and her hands now working better, she could feed herself a cookie". Hmmmmmmmm. So we got home, and finding a way to keep her elbows up, she was holding a cookie close, and she just kept pecking at it, moving her arms a little, and moving her head toward it, to bite it. 9/7/09 5:02p

kelseycan Concerts Kelsey Attended, brooks and Dunn, Gary Allen aug 09, Mark Wills-Santacaligon 9-5-09 8/23/09 2:13p , Lonestar 7-08, Eddie money 8-09, Jo Dee Messina 8-09, 6-09 country in the woods Corporate Woods, Emerson Drive

George strait has a song, I Saw God Today" Every day looking at Kelsey, I see God's Miracles. I have never been religious. I believed, and I know right from wrong, and mostly, follow the right path, and endeavor to do so. It can cost you in the short run, but in the long run, all you have is your word. You may make mistakes, and you need to forgive yourself for those you have made, and move on. Some struggle with, including me, with times such as having Kelsey, actually, first it was the loss of her twin sister, we named Kaitlyn. Not having kids, not really caring if I did or not, as it had been difficult for my wife to conceive. I was fine with whatever happened. And then, we found in the clinic that day, that it had. And I knew the moment I looked at the screen. (actually, I thought it was triplets, but the third item was the placenta) Can you say shaky knees? All the emotions; wow, how, now, and holy cow! what a miracle! And then, it was cut short, just about 15 weeks later. And so one. I was sad, disbelieving, and really, just numb. Really, seeming, no emotion, just empty. The most amazing miracle, just got cut short. Was it something we did. We did everything for those babies. All the foods, reading, talking to them, I was at every doctor's appointment but one. The one right before the one where we found out the bad news, that we had lost one. From the time we heard the news, and they said CP. I had the worst feeling, with stereotypes in my head of what that meant. sitting in the car at the parking garage of the children's hospital. I thought, not my child. How? Why? This little angel that slept on my chest at the delivery hospital her first night, seemed so normal, so perfect. This smart little girl who we played with in utero, counting, calling her baby bonk bonk because she would kick and count, One time I poked at her 80 times, and each time, she would kick or poke back, and we counted. However, that was pretty much the only time, in that garage, that I really feared, because at that time, I began faith path, that my little girl would be fine. Thankfully, for two friends, one with an autistic child, and one that works with developmentally challenged children. I think just holding her that first night, making a connection, told me she would help me, and I would help her. All the subsequent doctor's meetings just seemed like a waste of time. Oh sure, she has had challenges, we have had fears, as many parents do, yet we get through them all, and always will, because we, and she, are blessed, and watched over. It is not our choice, we were chosen. Many times, Kelly says why us, after all that we have done right, and you see so many people, drug abusers, etc, that you would think would have children with problems, yet they seem just fine. Then we decide we were chosen for a reason, for a higher reason. We are strong enough to deal with this, and this little girl needs us as much as we need her. Those other people we see would never be able to handle the diagnoses, the time out of a job, etc. It is very difficult for us, and financially, we have struggled recently unlike anytime. Our decisions sometimes seem flawed, yet are very correct, in that this is most important. This is my new passion, because I feel this message is to go out, and I am strong enough and talented enough to get it out. This little girl is a miracle, and I am a witness to God's miracles daily, and that is something I don't know how long it would have taken me to understand outside of this situation. We are to spread the word, and help those less fortunate in belief, knowledge, etc. I have many inventions, business ideas, and passions on my plate. But I feel as of today 8/31/09 4:44a , that this is my purpose, that God wants me to fulfill. I am grateful for anyone's help with this adventure, and we get alot, from some of the most amazing places. God is providing, through sources that really kill those prejudices, or sacred cows from my past. I am a true believer now. Believe and see in the good in any and all people. I am not trying to in any way be preachy to you. I know how some may feel, I felt the same way. I just endeavor to assist you to find the miracles in your life, that may be right in front of your face. I am just a witness for daily blessings entering my life. A catalyst for my talents and abilities. A path for my random creative thoughts. To show people what is possible. Being another source of helpful and hopeful information. Helping you see the answer is within you. In your heart, in your mind, in your connection to your surroundings, the universe, God. You just need a path to find it. 8/31/09

Tuesday Night we ate at Jose Pepper's, and Kelsey sat up well, by herself, looked as if she was falling forward, then caught herself, set herself back, and smiled. Doing it several more times, she would laugh. "That is my new trick...Balance!" Many bites of refried beans, some rice, although didn't quite know what to do with that. Most of everything stayed in. Really seems to like the cornbread! Eating like a big girl. Mommy says "Soon, we will have to buy her own kids meals." [1/2 hour to write these posts! not complaining, 1/2 hour to review all that Kelsey did this weekend. all the smiles, all the joy, and accomplishment, pride, excitement. relief. all reviewed, in 30 minutes, really, writing all about the fair would take an hour.] IT is so nice, and refreshing, to see her. I have always been a quiet champion of Kelsey, and knew she would be able to do whatever she wanted. I have always believed. It is so nice to just see what seems like all these switches coming on. She will be walking, crawling, etc, just soon after 2 years. Just seems like such a little person now. Just so connected to her now. It could be difficult for someone to do anything other than work with her, while seeing these great results! I think that is the best thing for her. IT is a blessing that we don't have someone to watch her, and just include her in everying. Looking back, I told her the other day, asked if she knew how lucky she is. I asked her if she knew any kids her age who had gone to Disney, on a cruise, to a different county, to concerts....heck, I think I just figured out she has been to more concerts than I did prior to 21! Likely more in 23 months that I did in 23 years! I think she just gets to see and do so much, it is helping her grow and see all she could be doing, where most kids in a similar situation would see minimal, and "normal" kids would just be home with a sitter often. I think this is paying off for all of us. I think we have more fun including her and showing her things than just doing it. Sure, away time can be nice, but I get alot out of having my little buddy just constantly looking around, and looking up at me and smiling, talking, having a great time. I am blessed. 8/26/09 7:45a


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