Two Step

And not the country dancing kind.

Yesterday Kristin, Rachel and I were working with Kelsey at school in her corner chair. She had two shakers, one in each hand.

We were having her follow directions like usual.

I asked her to do "right arm up and then *boom* (putting the two shakers together)"

And she did. She followed a two step instruction, pretty quickly too.

I googled this and you should see this by 2 to 2 1/2 in "normal" development.

Yay for my smart girl! Mark that milestone as EARLY!!! :)

Kelsey had a really good day with Kim, her vision teacher, on Wednesday.

She looked and played at the same time with some circles on the light box, even following her hand as she moved it.
*Really really big deal for Kelsey*

Usually she looks then looks away and then moves her toys.

I should also say that she seems to have come down with a full case of the "two's", exerting her opinions and being just a little stubborn.

Last week with Kristin, she had her hands in beans and rice (something she usually enjoys). There was even some necklaces and other things to grab at in there. Kelsey was not interested.

We buried her hands which will usually make her take them out. Last week she just sat there until I told her she could be *all done* if she took her hands out of the container.

She then started working them out.

With Kim on Wednesday she stopped playing with the circles. We tried and tried and waited her out but she just stilled her whole body and stopped the "talking" she had been doing. She even started playing with the spit in her mouth, making noises with it, to entertain herself.

I must say that I enjoy these showings of her spirit and opinions, and it really is soooo normal. I love that cognitively she is going through this stage right when she should, but it sure makes therapy a challenge!

Bumper Car

Trina left us a cart with wheels when she came to visit today. We decided that it looked like a "bumper car" to us.

It is amazing to think that in December she was just learning to prop sit all by herself and now she can play and play and bump and lean and still maintain her balance the whole time.

We played a long time and these were taken near the end.


(wouldn't be a Kelsey photo session without at least one "open mouth" shot)

21 months old and cuter than ever

Kaitlyn Lily

Memorial Day, two years ago, I felt my girls dance as I watched the fireworks with Bryan, soon after I first felt them move. Kaitlyn particularly liked the show.

Kaitlyn was always my morning girl, doing her best kicking early in the day. Kelsey always liked nighttime best. (She still does!)

This past weekend, two years ago, my mom and mother-in-law and I went to registry event at Babies-R-Us. I wondered why the girls didn’t move more to the two glasses of orange juice I had. I loved saying that I was having twins when we went around the group of expectant moms. The registry would never be used, though my sister and Aunt Susie did give me a wonderful shower after Kelsey was here.

Today, two years ago, my Kaitlyn was gone and I didn’t know it though I did have a constant worry for the girls.

Tomorrow evening, two years ago, I told Bryan, standing in our office, that I was worried about the baby girl on my right (Kelsey) because I wasn’t feeling her move much. It turns out I was feeling Kelsey’s legs on Kaitlyn’s side.

July 3rd, two years ago, I wondered why the girls weren’t moving as much as I thought they would with the glucose drink for the gestational diabetes test. We watched the monitor of the ultrasound machines first go to Baby A (Kaitlyn) then quickly, unexpectedly go elsewhere while the tech asked when the last time we saw them was.

I struggled to form the words "Baby A is dead." as I called my mom on the cell phone.

That night, Bryan felt Kaitlyn’s presence downstairs while my parents were sleeping in our living room. He thought it was me, but I was upstairs. The next morning he awoke to a single lily in the garden barrel, dancing in the wind like she had danced on all the previous ultrasounds. That is why her middle name is Lily.

July 4th, two years ago, my parents, Bryan and I watched the fireworks from a parking lot near home. Two babies in my tummy--one alive, one still.

Two years ago, I desperately searched for a name for Baby A. She had to have a name. It was the only thing I could give her.

Two years ago. And still it hurts.

I wish you were here with us – Kaitlyn Lily. I wish you and your sister were both here, both whole.

Kaitlyn Lily Dahl
Born Still
September 24, 2007
Shortly before 10 pm
11 inches long
7.3 ounces

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is a song I couldn't embed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ff5qJrPT7k

It’s cold in here feels like everything’s upside down
I can feel you talking but I can barley make out the sound
I been kicking around these parts, feels like a year
I’m gonna change this world if I ever get out of here
She wants to dress me in pink, paint’s my bedroom blue
And I just laugh to myself, cause only I know the truth
This love is my only emotion
Haven’t learned any fear any pain
It’s kind of funny with all this commotion
I guess they’ve got me, to blame
They don’t even know my name
They don’t even know my name

Well I’ve never felt so ready, think it’s finally time
Cause that big old world is waiting, and it’s mine all mine
Just then everything got real quiet, it got real bright
And a man took my hand said don’t worry, Mommas gonna be alright
Then he opened the gate, & I followed him in
Said you can wait right, here till it’s your turn again
And his love is the one true emotion
Heaven knows no fear no pain
I never got to set my wheels in motion
They loved me just the same
And they didn't even know my name
Didn’t even know my name
You loved me just the same
And you didn’t even know my name


And two that I could.

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair

[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
[Bridge]
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
We'd be held

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This is what it means to be held.....